Frustration-Where the Monkey Drops It

"And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into his plans." (Romans 8:28, The Living Bible)
At the Calcutta Country Club and Golf Course in Calcutta, India, ground rule number ten on the golf course is simply, “Play the ball where the monkey drops it.” This ground rule may also provide special insight for families.

India itself is a country of contrasts. Though surrounded by slums of abject poverty, the Calcutta Country club is one of the most posh and refined golf facilities in the world, reserved for the privileged few of wealth and influence. This beautifully laid-out and maintained course is cut directly out of a magnolia jungle. Thus, the course is surrounded by thick groves of huge, lush magnolias. These magnolias are also home to large monkey populations. In the trees, the monkeys find not only shelter from the sweltering Indian sun but also a superb view of the fairways.

For reasons yet undiscovered, these same monkeys have developed a special affinity for golf balls, especially as the balls bounce and roll down the fairways. As you might imagine, this affinity poses quite a problem for golfers. At the Calcutta Country Club, they have developed a unique solution to a unique problem.

As the golfer connects with the golf ball, a rustling can be heard among the magnolia trees. The ever vigilant monkeys spring from the trees in pursuit of the bouncing projectile. At that time, the caddie, madly waving a golf club, races down the fairway toward the ball. Usually these tactics succeed in preventing the monkey from capturing the ball. On occasion, however, it is the monkey who is successful. As the monkey grasps the ball and flees, the caddie intensifies his efforts at intimidation. Invariably, at the approach of the human the monkey will drop the golf ball. And there’s the rub. The monkey may or may not drop the ball in the fairway, in a good lie, or even within the boundary. The golfer is not allowed the prerogoative of returning the ball to its original spot, regardless of whether its position has worsened or improved. Thus we are left with the Calcutta Country Club rule number ten: Play the ball where the monkey drops it!

In families, especially in (blended) families, we often discover that the courts or prior relationships have left us with “unfavorable lies.” At the discovery, we are left with the choice: either we expend our lives trying to change the unchangeable and bemoaning our lot or we can deal with the reality. The first option leads only to frustration; the second opens our lives to divine intervention that can make something meaningful and worthwhile out of that which has been broken. (Hughes, R. Kent, 1001 Great Stories “Quotes”, (Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton IL pp. 173-174).